The effects of verbal abuse
The effects of verbal abuse
October is National Domestic Violence month and it is a subject near and dear to my heart.
So all through this month I will be writing about it, to try to open your eyes about what it actually does to the victims.
Today I want to present you with some facts about this devastating crime and the lasting effects it can have. This is not just me telling you, this is actual facts and reports from top researchers on what domestic violence and verbal abuse can and will do to people and let me tell you it's really scary.
According to the CDC, they
released a study that surveyed more than 70,000 Americans and the results were staggering. These are the results of that survey.
23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate partner violence.
43% of women and 26% of men in multiracial non-Hispanic households suffered partner violence.
39% of women and 18.6% of men in American Indian, Alaska Native households suffered
partner violence.
26.8% of women and 15.5% of men in white non-Hispanic households suffered partner violence.
29.2% of women and 23.3% of men in black non-Hispanic households suffered partner violence.
20.5% of women and 15.5% of men in Hispanic households suffered partner violence.
Harvard university put out
there own study on verbal
abuse, they went on to say:
Scolding, swearing, yelling,
blaming, insulting,
threatening, ridiculing, demeaning & criticizing can be as harmful as physical abuse, sexual abuse outside the home or witnessing physical abuse at home.
The report suggests that,
when verbal abuse is constant and severe, it creates a risk of post-traumatic stress disorder,
The same type of psychological collapse experienced by combat troops in Iraq.
This was news to me when I decided to go back to consulting last year and she diagnosed me with PTSD. I actually said "No, only soldiers get that"
The research went on to say that children who are the target of frequent verbal mistreatment exhibit higher rates of physical aggression, delinquency, and social problems than other children.
Other researchers have associated childhood verbal abuse with a significantly higher risk of developing unstable, angry personalities, narcissistic behavior, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and paranoia.
Now here is another thing that is so important to hear:
“Verbal abuse may also have more lasting consequences than other forms of abuse, because it’s often more continuous,” the report says. And in combination with physical abuse and neglect,may produce the most dire outcome.
There are always signs, yet we chose to ignore them, here are a few: Do they?
*Make derogatory comments about a group you belong to?
(Gender, career, religion, etc.)
This comment might end with
"I mean them, not you."
*Make fun of or insult your
ideas, behaviors, or beliefs?
*Make negative comments about people, places or things that you love?
*Say things that are almost true about you, but leave you wanting to defend yourself?
*Say, "What? It was just a joke!" to dismiss a remark
that offends you?
Aka: Passive aggressive
*Ask you questions about something that just happened and reply to your answers,
"Do you care to think about that and answer the question again" or just sit there, staring at you, in a way that lets you know your answer wasn't "right"?
*Engage you in long conversations about things on which you disagree until you reach the point of wanting to say, "Okay. Whatever. You're right!"
Or insist that you repeat
what they said and then,
later, claim, "You agreed with me!"
*Somehow manage to physically back you into a corner or somewhere you cannot easily escape during intense conversations?
*Break you down until you
Say your sorry about a fight you clearly are in the right about?
Now these are signs of how you feel when you are with them. Do you feel...
*Nervous when approaching them with certain topics?
*Insulted because of their
use of foul language or does their use of foul language change the meaning of otherwise normal requests?
Such as: "Could you f*ck*ng tell me how much f*ck*ng longer it will be before you're ready
for dinner?"
*A need to tell on yourself
about innocent events in case the person hears about it later?
Do you feel misunderstood for the most part, in your relationship?
Do you doubt your sanity, intelligence, communication skills because of difficulties relating to them?
Ask yourself these questions and be brutally honest with the answers because these are the signs.
Victims of verbal abuse may:
*Have difficulty forming conclusions and making decisions.
*Feel or accept that there is something wrong with them on a basic level.
I am here to tell you all of this is true as I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years, I know how it feels to be yelled at, put down, belittled, told you are stupid and that you could never do anything right.
I spent years crying myself to sleep, thinking I could never get out of this relationship because I didn't think I could make it on my own. His words rang over and over in my head, "I'd be nothing without him, he would take my girls, I'd be living in a box under 95"
I was literally stuck in fear.
When I finally had the courage to leave I made it my mission to help other women, to make sure my words touched their hearts, to uplift them and to give encouragement to someone else who may need it. It has become my mission to constantly put the word out about this silent killer of lives and souls.
This will never go away if we keep quiet about it. It has to be spoken of, we have to shine the light on this dark topic and show these men and women that even though you may not raise your hands to us, you are still a abusiver!
So today my friends, I beg you to reach out, to help others who are literally stuck in these relationships. Give them a way to get out, donate to your local women's shelters, let them know you are a safe haven for them. Be there for them and understand that sometimes they are stuck in fear You, that they have no self esteem left so be patient with them.You don't realize how small and precious the joy is of just coming home not being afraid and just being happy is until you've walked in our shoes.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
**Now released my latest book**
The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed
***Now available***
My 1st book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website
:
Http://www.treadmilltreats.com
And on Amazon.com
My weekly Youtube page, please subscribe:
Twitter: treadmill treats
Instagram: treadmilltreats
Facebook :treadmill treats
#treadmilltreats
#Theblessingindisguise
#TheblessinginDisguiserevealed
#livinglifelarge
#bethechangeyouwanttosee
#Thankyounext
#Garyvee
#Jayshetty
#newyearnewme
#blogginglife
#write
#writer
#blogger
#NewYorktimesbestseller
#womenoffaithtour
#Motivationalspeaker
#OnOprahSupersoulSunday
#Oprah
#TylerPerry
#TylerPerryproducingmylifestory
#thisismypassion
#livingmypurpose
#blogging
#Newyork
#Florida
#internationalblogger
#francescavillardi
#francescavillardienterprise
Comments
Post a Comment