Don't go back!

Don't go back

So because this month is National Domestic Violence month I will write a lot about this subject. I am writing today to let you know you are not alone, that many of us go through this situation including myself.

But I am here to tell you don't go back! 

I remember when I decided I was moving on, I was sick of not realizing my self worth and letting men get away with things that we as queens should never allow.

Sometimes we are good at giving advice but not following our own advice, you know "Do as I say, not as I do"

There was a point when I decided that I need to follow my own advice as I can't just walk the walk, I have to talk the talk.

I have made peace with leaving the men in my life in the past, knowing that I need a man to treat me in a certain way and if not, you got to go.Then out of the blue I hear from an ex....

He wants to talk, he wants to try to work this out, he says he misses me, those magic words that make our knees weak.

I am blown away because I have moved on, I have cried my eyes out for weeks, it took me months to walk away, to heal my broken heart and bam! Here he is knocking on this door again.Yuggg!

My heart races, I can't breathe, memories come flooding back in and I think why is he doing this now?

This is a trick from the universe saying "So you want to move on? Really let's see"

As if they are waiting for my answer....soooo...how stupid are you? Did you really leave him in your past? Or were you just blowing smoke up our ass...

If you've ever been in this situation you understand my dilemma, you want to hear what he has to say, you want to believe he has changed, you want it to work out with this man.

This was the man you were crazy about, this man you lost your mind for, this man you lost sleep over, cried all night for, that disappointed you time and time again, who promised you things he never made good on, this man who hurt you to your core, who....wait....why the hell am I even considering talking to him?

What the hell is wrong with me? How many times do we have to get smacked in the head before things become clear? Well, I know for me it takes a few....I am getting better at it, thank God, but still it takes a while.

Here's the thing I've realized, if this was your best friend and this happened to her what would be your advice to her?

I can tell you...the same advice I just gave to a reader who Pm me about the very same situation, I was like you got to go, walk away, he's not worth it, he is never going to change. Hello!! Self, are you listening?

But as I was talking to her I knew I was done. This man was just like this man this woman was dating, a man who was never going to change, either we were going to put up with his bullshit forever or we were going to walk away, it's that simple.

It must have been a video I posted that made people reach out to me but a male friend also Pm me and spoke of the same thing with this woman he was dating. He was last on her list, she told him as much... yet he was still holding on...to what? Lies? Bullshit? When someone tells you who they are, believe them!

I am telling you this just so you know, this does not just happen to women, it is a universal thing.

I decided then and there that I was not going to put up with bullshit anymore, if your a real man you will step up, you will do whatever it takes to make your women happy, no matter what you have to change, that is what you do and if you can't or won't...keep it moving...next...

The universe has the man who is for me and for you and they are waiting for us to walk away, to leave the past in the past, to see if we are really ready for a truly good man or woman who will appreciate us.

Say it with me "Hello! Universe I am ready"

Hopefully my reader is ready, as well as the many of you out there that read my blog and watch my videos. Don't be so hard on yourselves, we are human, sometimes the heart overrules our heads,

Sometimes we love so much, we want to desperately see the good in people, even to the point it blinds us to all the bad.

As much as you want them to change, they never will unless you are that important to them, sorry if that hurts but that is the real truth. You need to change, to value yourself and all you give to the one you love. You chose to walk away and even be alone than to be lied to, cheated on, abused or treated as an afterthought, it's your choice how someone treats you, chose wisely.

So today my friends, remember the choice is yours, you decide how people treat you, you decide to walk away and wait for the universe to say "Good job, now look at this wonderful person I have waiting for you....they were there all this time waiting for you to chose"

"Be the change you want to see"