Digging into your past wounds

Digging into your past wounds

So recently, I told you that I started going back to therapy. I realized that I still had some unfinished issues that had triggered me.

While speaking to my new therapist, he asked about my childhood, which I thought I was okay with, but obviously, I wasn't. 

He asked about my grandmother, who lived with us my whole life. She would get mad at me for something a 5 year old would do and then not talk to me for days. Even though we lived in the same house. Being a child, I had no idea what I did and tried to win her "love" back by giving her flowers or drawing her a picture, but she would ignore me. 

I, being so young, had no idea she had mental issues.

I just felt like I did something wrong and had to make her love me again. This vicious cycle continued to my friends that I picked and then to the man I married.

I wanted to make them happy, I would do anything for their love, including sacrificing my own happiness to get it.

As we were going through this exercise, I broke down. I had to tell that little girl that this wasn't her fault. This was my grandmother's issue, and no matter what I did, even if I did it perfectly, it would have never been enough for her or for my ex-husband as well. But these are the things we carry with us even when we think we are grown and okay, these things still are able to hurt us. 

So today my friends my advice to you is that we are all broken from our past. We have childhood wounds that we never addressed. We just thought they would magically go away, but they haven't, and they won't unless you open up your heart and address them.

I am a big believer in change, but in order to change, you must do the digging into why you do the things you do. It is only through the hard work that you will finally be the change you want to see.

@TreadmillTreats