I've been good on my own...right?

I've been good on my own...right?

I have been single for a while, I am good on my own, I am fine with myself and the life I've made with my girls and my friends, my family and church.

I got this...I didn't need a man, besides look at my previous choices, I didnt do to well there, did I?
I was hurt to many times so how could I trust? Why would I want to open myself up to that hurt again?

I've picked man after man who wouldn't step up, who lied and cheated, who put me down and wanted me to be someone I was not.

No, I have lousy picker, I get that and because of that I have been afraid to pick, so it's been easier just to stay single.

Yet, I speak to you all the time about happily ever after's, about stepping out, about overcoming your fears, about how love is the only thing that is worth living for.

Yes, sometimes it's do as I say, not what I do world but I know that I never wanted to live my life alone. I have a big heart and lots of love to give. I loved being a wife, I am a one man women, a ride or die girl. I will always have your back and want the person I love to always feel special and loved. I have all of this stuck inside of me, wanting love yet afraid to open up and let someone in.

See sometimes your going along with your life, not expecting anything when life changes. When one day your good by yourself and the next something happens and it all changes.

It's not until someone comes along and throws a curve ball into your life, that you start to wonder, that your heart starts to stir again.You fight it, you argue with yourself, you refuse to see it or believe it.

Your can't go there...can you?
No! Your good, your life is good, you got a wrong picker remember? Even though this year you decided that you will no longer be picking losers, you are still afraid.
You know he is different, you know he is a good one.

Yet somehow these feelings are still coming at you, you push them away, you scream in your head this can't be happening!

Your heart is saying other things you don't want to listen to.
You stick your fingers in your ears and yell at yourself like a 5 year old...
"Bad picker, bad picker, bad picker"

You go over all the hurt, you list all the pain. You give yourself all the reasons this is a bad idea and still something wont shut up in your heart.

But you know yourself, you bolt when someone opens up their feelings to you, this has always been your MO.
You stay and run after the ones who can't and won't step up...easier that way.
No, the one's who are there for you, you run from....

All the arguing in the world wont erase the fact that this man has awakened something in you, you thought was dead.

The scariest part will have to be decided....will you choose to open up knowing that this will not be the forever love you want
or will you run, holding on to your heart so it wont be hurt again?

You know this man is a lesson for you, a lesson on how a real man should treat you. How a real man appriciates all you have to offer. He tells you how much he loves all you do for him and that the other's that had you, were fools to let you go.
Yet you know that he wants things you do not, things you've experienced and you know he should too but not with you.
You both know this is a for now thing, that no matter what feelings you may have for each other, you know that your wants are too different to change.

So many emotions, so many feelings, so many decisions....

So today my friends, I can only tell you to do what's in your heart, follow your gut, listen to your intuition. For me it's going to be alot of prayer and just knowing that sometimes the curve ball life throws you can be a game changing thing, but you have to be willing to be in the game to play.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise.... revealed**

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