Letting go of childhood hurts

Letting go of childhood hurts

I have grown a lot in the last seven years, more than I could have ever imagined. 
I left a abusive marriage after 24 years, I started my own business that now supports me and my girls.

I stepped out of my box more times than I care to remember and I have forgiven people I never thought I would, people who I actually pray for now.

Yes, I have definitely grown but I am human and I definitely have more growing to do. Yes, even at this age.

I, like so many of you, have had things that happened in our childhood that might have sucked and even 20, 30 or 40 years later, they can still be triggered.

Something happens and you are right back there, feeling the same way, hurting just as bad, because we are still holding on to these emotions.

This happened to me the other day when my rapist reached out to me and it reminded me of other times this had happened in my life.

Someone from my past Facebook me, they left me a beautiful message about how I am inspirational, how I've overcome so many things to turn into a positive, beautiful women. Sounds nice right?

So why were my panties in a bind, you might ask. Because I am still holding on to the things they did and said when I was young.

Yes, that beautiful message, meant well, sent me right back to a dark place I thought I was over but clearly wasn't.

Was I expecting a apology? Was I expecting an explanation on why they treated me so bad while I was a young girl? Maybe... Oh Hell, lets be honest, that's exactly what I was expecting! Just like I was expecting one from my rapist.

How do you just hit someone up after 30 years like "Hi how are you?" And not say "Sorry, I such a prick to you years ago"

Did they forgot how mean they were to you, treated you worst than Cinderella?
Did that just slip their mind? And they were hoping it slipped yours as well? The nerve of some people.

Whatever it was or wasn't about, it obviously showed me I still needed work on myself. Maybe they are at a point in their lives where they are trying to make amends, maybe they are old and have forgotten it, maybe I was young and it was different than I remember it?

Hell, I resented my ex fiance for years for not being there for me when my best friend died and I needed him the most.
Years later that came up when I wrote about it in my book, he said "How could I be there for you, you broke off our engagement, you broke my heart, I was in such pain and yet you expected me to be there for you?"

I never saw it that way, at the time it was all about me and my pain, so much so that I never saw it from his point of view. That was a huge eye opener for me.

Whatever it may or may not have been, its really about learning and letting go.They reached out to me, it seemed real, and its now about me. It's in my court, to either hold on to past hurts from 30 plus years ago or take it from where they are at now and move on.

See this is all about the choices I am always talking about, we all have choices we make every day, we get to chose. I can hold on to the anger and bitterness from long ago or I can reach out and forgive. Even if they didn't ask for my forgiveness, this forgiveness is for me, to set me free.

Even if in their minds they feel like they did nothing wrong. This forgiveness is for and about me, so that when I heard their names, when a thought comes in my head, I don't end up in that dark place again.

So today my friends,
I chose to take another step, me and that little, hurt child that I was so long ago are walking hand in hand, to open our arms and forgive them and then we will be walking away into our incredible future with a peaceful heart and cleared mind.

Maybe this message was for you today, maybe this message was for me....
Maybe we are still holding on to that hurt child, maybe its time to make that choice and let it go,
I know that I have come to a place of peace and joy in my life. I can't stand this unbalanced, this feeling I am having about all of this. I need to let it go, I don't care why my rapist reached out or why this person reached out. It doesnt matter anymore, it's all about being free from the past and letting go of childhood hurts.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise.... revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

My weekly Youtube page, please subscribe:
https://youtu.be/LDSXCFJVnzM

Twitter: treadmill treats
Instragram: treadmilltreats
Facebook :treadmill treats

#treadmilltreats
#Theblessingindisguise
#TheblessinginDisguiserevealed
#livinglifelarge
#newyearnewme
#blogginglife
#writre
#blogger
#NewYorktimesbestseller
#womenoffaithtour
#Motivationalspeaker
#OnOprahSupersoulSunday
#TylerPerryproducingmylifestory
#thisismypassion
#livingmypurpose
#blogging
#Newyork
#Florida
#internationalblogger
#francescavillardi