The anniversary of my freedom

The anniversary of my freedom

Yesterday was my 5 year anniversary of my freedom and funny thing is, I didn't even know the date. I was visiting my ex mother in law on one of my bi weekly visits to her and she mentioned it to me.

She said how my ex (her son) was in a uproar and that he said something that this was 5 years since we got divorced. I laughed as I didn't even know the date, I honestly thought it was in September. Here's the thing, I don't think about it because I am grateful every single day that I am free. Every day to me is my anniversary of my freedom and I cry about it, seroiusly at least twice a week on the way home from the gym.

I am grateful I am no longer in a verbally abusive marriage, I am grateful for this amazing life I have now, a life I almost gave up on.
A life I envisioned and fought for, a life that is sometimes is hard as hell but that I wouldn't give up for anything.

I found my self worth through this process, I found I loved myself, that I need to be me, like me or not, I'm still got to be me.
I lived too many years trying to be someone I wasn't, trying to please someone who would never be happy anyway.

I have to live my true life, be my true self. I found I had strenght I thought I lost, I found my faith and my God.
I found my voice and am blessed to be able to be a voice for others who have none. I found my purpose in writing and being able to expose the lies I was living to show others it's okay, that it will be okay, that it will get better, if you keep believing and never give up.

I sometimes look back and think look how far I've come, I think about the many nights I cried in my bath with my wine and pills,  wishing it would be over, praying for the strenght to leave or to die.

I think about how every night as I went to sleep I would envision my life I wanted, what my home would look like. A home where I was free, a home filled with peace and love, with laughter and friends and family. I envisioned traveling, I saw everything in my mind as if it was.
I envisioned all of this, this life I now have and I am here to tell you you can too!

This is why I went through all I've been through is so that I can be here for you, the ones who are still crying in their tubs, for the ones who hate their lives and can't see a way out. This is what my freedom means to me, it means I can give encouragement to others, to say look it can and will happen, don't give up.

So today my friends remember this is not just my anniversary, I want it to be your anniversary as well. An anniversary of leaving the things or people that no longer work for you. The anniversary of a new you, a stronger you, a you that loves yourself enough to know your self worth and to demand respect. You can do this, hell, I did it and I am no different than you.
So let's all make this the anniversary of our freedom.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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