Why lie?

Why lie?

Recently I was talking to my daughter about a court case me and her father had gone through years ago and how she told me some things her father had said about our case.

I had to laugh that he was lying while he was saying,
I was lying.
Here's the thing I raise my hand to being a liar. I was an expert liar while I was married to him, shocking that I would admit that huh? Yes, we hate to admit our flaws, we rather die than admit we're not perfect.

Well, I am so not perfect!
Sorry I tell it all, the good, the bad and the really ugly. So while being not perfect, I have done some really crappie things, including lying.

I lied about being happy in my marriage.
(I was misrable )

I lied about us being the "Perfect" family
(We were falling apart and so disfunctional)

I lied about seeing my friends.
(He hated all my friends)

I lied about wanting to make the marriage work.
(All I wanted was to get out but I was too afraid.)

Yes, I lied about everything and hated myself for it!
The day I decided to leave the marriage was the day I vowed I would never lie again.

I was free and freedom to me meant never having to lie to try to please someone, to be myself, warts and all. To know my self worth and know that I cannot be everything to everyone.

I write this blog every day,
5 days a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year for the last 7 years. There is nothing I have not put out there.

I've told you my great moments, I've shared my accomplishments, I've wrote about falling in love and getting my heart broken. I told you when I was lied to and cheated on by Mr. Con Artist, I poured my heart out with my pain.
I shared my pain of dealing with my children. I opened up about friends betraying me, I shared my heartbreaks and disappointments, I told you time and time again when I fell on my face.

I have shared my highs and lows, I opened myself up to the world and criticism from strangers.There is nothing I won't share, to be an inspiration to others, so someone out there can read my blog and think if she can do it, so can I.  Because of that there is no reason for me to lie anymore.

So while talking about this with my daughter, I think at least I am growing. I am owning what I did and who I was back then...Yes, I was a liar but I am a different person now and if you can't see that, if you can't see how much work I put into changing to be this person I am today...well that's your problem.
If you think a leopard can't change his spots, that no one is capable of change, then that's on you...

Maybe you need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Maybe your incapable of change...maybe you will never grow or change...maybe just maybe, it's you..

So today my friends, own what you did, stand tall in the mistakes you've made, because through your failures and your heartbreaks, it has made you into the person you are today.
As I always say in the end of every blog "Be the change you want to see"

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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