Many blessings, many setbacks

Many blessings....many set backs

As I am about to go away again to celebrate my birthday, I know many of you who read my blog will think "Dam, why is she so blessed?"
Yes, it looks like I am always being blessed.

So believe me when I tell you that I know that I truly am blessed for all that I have. There is not a single day that goes by that I am not grateful for each and every one of these blessings. Some days it brings me to tears how grateful I am for the life I have now.

But for everyone of those blessings there have been hardships, there have been failures and there have been pain...lots and lots of pain. I am human and as much as I try to be postive all the time, there are times that I wonder how could I be so blessed and then at times, it seems like I am almost cursed.

Do you not think I ask why is it when I take 2 steps forward, it seems like I go back 4 steps. Believe me, I am always questioning God about this. Yes, I have faith but Hello, I am only human.

Perfect examples are when I finally had the courage to leave my abusive marriage then I get involved with Mr.Con Artist right after.

Or getting buddy passes on my best friends airline and flying all the country, then months later when the Air lines merged, they changed their policy and  then I owed hundreds of dollars for all my "close to free flights"

Or how about when I sold my business only after starting it a year before and he kept me on as a consultant, to him not doing anything with it to make it grow and watching all my hard work go down the drain along with his other businesses.

When I make some extra money and start paying off some bills to then finding out unexpectedly that my ex had been throwing out my hairdressing license since I moved out. To finding out now that I owe hundreds of dollars in fees and new tests to be reinstated.

Recently so many things had come at me all at once, my website crashed, my credit cards were hit again, my flash drive was wiped clean with all my hard work from my class I've been taking. I was so overwhelmed I wanted to crawl into bed and just stay there and cry and a few days I did just that. Because some times life just sucks, sometimes life is hard and sometimes you only get the pits to try to make the lemonade.

Yes, there will always be blessings but they all came with a cost... a cost that no one seems to realize.
But I am here to tell you these things because through it all, I've kept my faith. I let go of my ego, I let go of my fear and I kept believing that everything will be alright, that God's got this and I no longer had to stress but at times it is a struggle.

Even when a few years ago my best friend borrowed money I had saved for a new air conditioning unit and I had no air during the hottest months in south Florida, I knew somehow it would be okay.

I knew God would take care of it and so I didn't stress about it. I didn't know when or how, I just had faith and sure enough my guardian angel neighbor Frank came to my rescue a few months later, out of the blue. I never gave up hope of where I would get that money from, I just knew it would happen.

So for me it works both ways. Yes, I am blessed and yes, I have lots of set backs but when I have set backs, I trust that things will work it self out and it does.

I've learned with the biggest storms come the biggest rainbows, the harder I am knocked down, the bigger the blessings that come later on.
Sometimes it's a test of faith, can you hold on? Can you still believe? Can you still praise while going through it all?

So today my friends, remember things are not always as they seem, you may see all of "these blessings" but you have no idea of how many times I laid on the floor crying out in pain, how many times I've fell on my face, how many set backs I've had to be able to get these blessings.

Everything in life comes with a cost...you just didn't see me paying for these many blessings, with many set backs.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise.... revealed**

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My book The blessing in Disguise
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