We all get down once in a while

We all get down once in a while

If you know me, you know I am probably one of the most positive and happy people you will ever meet. Even with all the shit I've been through in one lifetime, people wonder how I can still be so upbeat. How can I can still have that Tinkerbell mentality? That all is possible and that I can still look for the good in people with all that I been through.

As many times as I've been knocked down and trust me I could be a prize fighter at this point, I still get up.
I still keep fighting with a smile on my face. But even I get down, even I throw my hands up and say enough! I'm tired, can't I catch a frigging break?

People think that because your this "Motivational" speaker and writer that this doesn't happen to me. I'm human, I raise my hand first, all the time, to say I screw up. That I "use to" pick losers.
(New years resolution stop putting it out there that I pick losers, now it's I use to pick losers)
Yes, I screw up big time, so why wouldn't you think that I also get down from time to time?

Yes, I tell you, you can do it, to never give up, to have faith... blah, blah, blah.
But sometimes it feels like your running uphill, sometimes it feels like you take 3 steps foward and 10 steps backwards. We've all been there, life seems like it's going good, your happy.

Things are going your way, your making money, things are perfect and BAM! Just like that cook says... Something comes at you, you lose your biggest client, your air breaks, the cat gets sick, your love life throws you a curve ball or you find out that God got jokes, lots of jokes. And sometimes this all happens in a week span.

Just as your trying to keep your head above water BAM! Something else happens and your drowning again, then you think okay, I can see the shore and BAM! Here comes another huge wave and you can't hold on....

I know I always cry out to God, I ask him "Haven't I had enough pain and heartache in one lifetime? I cry at night thinking I can't do this yet again, when am I going to catch my break? When is it going to be my season you promised?"

Yeah, yeah I know many of you who read my blogs are thinking "What the hell do you have to complain about? You travel all the time, you own your own home and business, you got lots of friends and your always somewhere, doing something"

Yes, that is all true and I am so very grateful for all of that but you don't see me working 12 hours a day, trying to pay the bills, you don't see the struggles with my girls. You don't see me trying to do it all as a single mom, exhausted at night, falling into bed. You don't  see me crying myself to sleep thinking my love life is cursed and that I can't take one more person I love dying.
No, you see the smiling face, the one I show the world just like so many other people do as well. Look at recently suicides of many famous people, who always "looked" happy, who seemed to have it "all" yet they were dying inside.

You never know what someone is going through, how much pain they are in. We must be kind to everyone as we don't know and we can't see their struggles.

I have big faith, hello! I go to the "Faith Center" after all and I know God has a plan for me. Even if I can't see it through this storm. I know I will be alright but sometimes it's hard and I know you all can relate.
I am nothing if I am not honest in my blogs about all of my life so I must put this out there. I want everyone to know life's not perfect and even the best of us get down. But I will forever keep being Tinkerbell and believing that nothing is impossible, if you believe.
I realize and want you all to know, that we all get down once in a while.

"Be the change you want to see"
 
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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