Dealing with today's anxieties
In today's world we have so many things to stress us out. We have social media which makes everyone's life look so spectacular. We have filters and app's that makes everyone look beautiful and thin. We think if we don't look like that or have that big house, these shoes, that bag then my life isn't as good. Then I am not doing well.
As parents we must put our children in every sport, every program, fill every second of their time with "meaningful" things otherwise we aren't doing our jobs right.
Televison and the media especially makes us women, feel like if your not keeping your house perfectly organized, if your kids aren't perfectly behaved and if your not swinging off the chandelier, looking like a supermodel while your having sex, that your not doing something right.
If your a single mom like me, you need to be a superwoman, a mom, a dad, a provider, a Mr. Fix it, and you have to do it all and still look good while warding off all the frogs out there.
Well it's all a load of bullshit! Yes, I said it, it's a bullshit lie that has been feed to us and we are just expecting it as gospel for our lives.
I started to write my blog because I was a hot mess, I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years, I was lost and broken and I was sick and tired of faking my life. I was out there with these posts "Oh look here's my perfect family, my big house, my amazing lifestyle, my perfect marriage and kids"
But behind closed doors we were a dysfunctional mess, my kids were screwed up, my marriage was a farce of what he wanted the world to see. Evey night I cried myself to sleep, I hated my life, this "perfect" life I was portraying.
So I decided to be real in my blogs when I finally found the courage to leave. I swore that I would never lie about my life again.
Why can't we all just admit that we are stressed, that we are overwhelmed, overburdened, that we don't have it all together? Aren't we all human? Don't we all mess up and fall short? So why are we so ashamed of being what we were born to be...human?
Admitting we have anxieties, that we don't have all the answers or that we aren't always like the pictures on social media does not make us "less than"
We are all the same, we all bleed red, we all want a better life for our children, we all want peace and happiness. We want to be the best we can be but it's okay to fall down, to fall short, to lay on the floor and cry out "Why? God, why?" Or "when God, when?"
You cannot learn the lessons you need to if you don't fail, if you don't go through hard times. This is what makes us stronger but if you can't be truthful with the world then you won't be truthful with yourself and if your not truthful with yourself, then you won't admit you have a problem. Without admitting you have a problem, you will never fix it and so you will stay stuck in this lie you've made up called your life.
Yes, I sometimes have anxiety about how my children are growing up, about my business, about how am I going to pay my bill's. I have anxiety about the bad choices of men I have picked, about when will I be doing my passion and purpose full time. Yes, I am human and I feel and worry about all of it but I cannot let it control my life. I must be true to myself and say it's okay, I believe, I have faith and I will not live a fake life.
I will take ownership to my life, all of it, the good, the bad and the really ugly. I will own my screw ups, my failures and I will put them out there for the whole world to see because it is my hope to inspire someone out there who is also going through it. To give someone hope not to give up, to know it's okay to have anxiety, to worry and guilt sometimes but to know it will be okay.
We must learn to let go of what others expect of us, to keep trying to keep up with "The Jones's" whoever they hell they are. We must do our best, and not worry about someone else's "fake" best. We must own where we are right now, no matter where that may be.
So today my friends, we must remember that not everything that glitters is gold, not everything you see on social media is what real life truly is.
This is your life, take ownership of it, and know it's okay to be you, faults and all.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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